Tonight we went to
this, and it was teh awesome. That link probably won’t work for much longer. It was a benefit comedy show for
826LA which is a non-profit writing and tutoring center for kids. Sounds like I intentionally went because of that since I’m a writing tutor and love kids, right? Well, I had no idea it was a benefit thing at all, so that was cool. We went because of the Goldstar Events email I got about the tix being half-price
Somehow we got to sit on the floor with great seats and paid half.
The show was awesome. I laughed, laughed, and laughed more. I got to see Janeane Garofalo! I love her, LOVE I say. I wouldn’t mind being her when I grow up hehe. She talked politics for awhile…. ohhh, and she talked shit about flip flops. She said Palin’s church is getting ready for the rapture, and when the rapture comes, you can’t be wearing flip flops, cuz you’re gonna have to run, have you seen how fast the zombies run in 28 Days Later? And she went on for a bit, it was so funny. I was wishing John and Ryan were there to hear it (Side note, I did a podcast with them, it’s a 3-part thing, 2 parts are up now LISTEN!) Anyway… Janeane called Palin an asshole douchebag. That was awesome.
Patton Oswalt went on early cuz he hadn’t slept hehe. I love him, he is awesome. He made me bust up too, but I don’t have any specific lines for you. He did tell a great story with a squirrel, a rat, a hawk, and kids playing next door.
Jimmy Pardo hosted the show. He was good too. He’d act serious which made what he was saying even more funny. He tried talking to people in the audience sometimes, but that didn’t go so well hehe.
Tom Lennon (who plays Dangle on Reno 911) was there. He wasn’t a listed guest, so that was an awesome surprise. He was hysterical. At one point, I couldn’t breathe. He was talking about being filmed giving a blow job. He said whatever you do, “don’t do this” and he used the mic and pretended to tap the head to his tongue sticking out. And was saying doing that or having the dick hit you anywhere says you’ve given a ton of blow jobs. Of course he said it with wit that I cannot type here, but I laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Awesome.
Bill Burr and Al Madrigal were also great. Al talked about kids and cheap ass piñatas and kids going nuts in bouncy houses. Bill talked about obesity and something else I found more funny but can’t remember right now, damn!
Bob Moore and his Amazing Mongrels was cool, except that I couldn’t see well enough since the chick in front of me decided to sway back and forth the whole time 
That video I linked is old, but he did have a dog do that. Dogs are awesome. Oh, and he uses dogs he rescued, so that is coo too
Tim and Eric were there, I never heard of them before. They were, um, interesting. Jason definitely liked them more. They had on skin tight outfits and are out of shape and sang a diarrhea song, the best part was when they sang ‘meow meow meow’ with ears and a tail to me.
And now to the one who made me cry! Dana Gould! Who knew? I was a bit skeptical of him at first, but he was so funny! He talked about his 6-year-old daughter and how for 45 minutes she said she wanted a cheese stick, and he kept saying something like ‘no honey, at bedtime we’ll have milk’ and ‘no honey, we aren’t having cheese sticks tonight’. Then he finally said okay, you can have a cheese stick now, but at bedtime, you won’t get milk. She agreed and said it was ok. Then came bedtime and she said she wanted milk. Then he just started cussing and going nuts SOOOOOOO FUNNY. He was cussing and yelling and omg. I cried almost immediately when he started, then I was trying to stop and this crazy awkward laugh burst outta mouth that I couldn’t keep in. It was great. At the end he told us to be sure to never call our daughters a cunt.
So, this is a long fucking post. I’m gonna pimp out the podcast I was in again… 2 of 3 parts posted so far. You can always add the podcast for free on your iTunes Jefferson Snowmobile.
