I Read a Book!

Posted on August 31st, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

I understand people read books all the time, and this isn’t really much of a feat. It is just so rare that I actually finish a book I’m reading for pleasure. Prior to this I flew through my Wil Wheaton books, but I love how he writes and his stories. I usually don’t want to read since there is plenty of it to do during school (especially with the Chicano studies minor I had).

Last year, around this time, I started reading Kitchen Confidential by Tony Bourdain. Before I go any further, let me say I hate abbreviating people’s names, but having heard Anthony be called Tony on his show for such a long time, that is how I think of him. I enjoyed the book, but once school started I pretty much abandoned it. Over the next few quarters I’d pick at it here and there. When the summer started, I was still in the “First Course” of the book. I love that he separates the sections like that. It starts with Appetizer, then has the First through Third courses, Dessert, and Coffee and a Cigarette.

After reading this I realized I just really enjoy reading about other people’s life experiences. It became obvious since I loved this book so much, and the ones Wil wrote. I don’t think I’ve ever written a book review btw…you can probably get some great ones of Tony’s book online : ) I just wanted to share a little about it. Tony writes very well, and his personality comes through strong in the text. Throughout reading it, I found myself sharing various quotes with friends that just cracked me up. And I was really trying hard to not push them all on everyone. I wish I had bookmarked a few of them. Even the last lines of the Appetizer were mouth-dropping. So much that, I don’t want to give that part away.

For the sake of moving on with this blog post, I just found one of the quotes I like from the Second Course: “A proper sauté pan, for instance, should cause serious head injury if brought down hard against someone’s skull.” The quotes get better and better as the book goes on. He also writes very visually; it is very easy to just imagine the scene he is describing -the only thing really missing is the smell (whether that be good or bad at that particular moment).

The majority of the book just takes you through Tony’s life: the good and the bad. It is interesting to see him looking back on his life in the way he does. He also feels very open in how he just puts you right in the middle of a mess involving drugs and alcohol. That quote I posted is from the chapter where he tells you things you need in your kitchen to be a pro. That was probably the slowest chapter for me, but it was still interesting. I feel that the book keeps a good pace, and that you will probably fly through the book, unlike me.

I loved the end of the book. The stories and his thoughts. I really recommend reading this; it’s a little over 300 pages. If you like his show, No Reservations, I’m guessing you’ll like this book.

The Perfect Woman

Posted on August 22nd, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

Everyone has his/her own idea of what the perfect woman is. And for the sake of this post, I am only going to be talking about physical attributes. Some people might focus on the face, but it is more likely going to be other body parts that draw the person in.

Women come in all shapes and sizes.  Some are super skinny while others are overweight. Some have big butts while others have big boobs. Some have both. The combinations go on and on. What appeals to one person might not appeal to another.

The woman should feel good about herself no matter what. Genes play a huge part in how we appear on the outside. We just gotta go with it.

This brings me to my point. I can’t stand when a group of women is labeled as being “better” than another group. For instance, there is a FB group called “Curvy girls are better than skinny girls!” I’m completely cool with a page just being called “curvy girls” because you ‘like’ the page on there. Then you can show you like curvy girls. And why not? They’re awesome. But that doesn’t make them any better than girls who are skinny. Different? Yes. Better? NO. I’d say the same thing if the group was called Skinny girls are better than curvy girls.

I completely understand people’s preferences for one thing over another. I embrace those differences. I do not like groups of people being placed on a hierarchy that should not exist. Women are women. Let’s stop putting each other down and all be on a level ground.

The Summer Needs to Slow Down!

Posted on July 27th, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

I’ve been wasting away since school ended. I am still working right now, but am rather lost without classes. I had big plans for this summer in the beginning. The two main goals were to exercise regularly to get in shape by the end of the summer and to learn more Spanish. You can imagine what I’m going to say next.

I’ve exercise sporadically.  I think I need to write down specific exercises for specific days. I still need to get my tire back onto my bike and see if it’s in good enough condition to ride it. My bike is rather unmanageable cuz it’s fucking heavy. One of my exercises is lifting weights for my biceps/triceps by the way.

When I dusted off my pilates dvd and did the short, 20-minute workout, I about died heh. Just squeezing my abs was a feat in itself. Tomorrow is my ‘early day’ at work, so with that extra hour I really need to write this shit down. What I need to do and when to do it. I’ve actually gained weight instead of losing it. Went up a pants size. Meh.

Another thing I need to do is write down some Spanish vocab words. I find it a bit difficult trying to remember easy words sometimes. Drives me nuts. I want to increase my vocab and I need to fresh myself with the past tense versions of words. I know it really all comes down to practice. I’m thinking of buying a computer program I saw at Costco that is supposed to be similar to that overly-priced one I won’t name here. My boyfriend has been trying to help me with Spanish too…since he speaks it and all. I’m forever grateful for this and he has a lot of patience with me.

So, yeah. I feel like I’m not really accomplishing anything this summer. I know I did tell myself it is a time to relax since I usually take classes in the summer…but I feel rather useless without getting anything done. I keep wishing I was taking a class right now. Yes, I know that’s crazy talk. But at least I’d feel like I was getting something done. I’m just gonna have to push myself to make the most of the last two months of summer break.

The Most Amazing Thing Happened

Posted on July 21st, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

Toward the end of April I started talking to a guy on Twitter. We got along well right away. The @s turned into DMs. The DMs turned into IMs. The IMs turned into phone calls. The phone calls turned into skype convos. I just couldn’t talk to him enough.

We also started watching movies together (even though we were in separate states). We’d hit play on the DVD at the same time, then talk in IM during the movies. I’m sure we’ll do this again.

So, last weekend, this ‘guy’ came out and visited. The chemistry that we had online and on the phone carried over into real life. I still couldn’t get enough of his voice. He  still made me laugh. He still made me feel special. And I definitely put a smile on his face too :)

We spent a great weekend together and both of us were not happy when he had to go back home.

I felt such a void thinking about him being so far away from me. I knew he was who I’ve been looking for. Thankfully he was already planning on moving back here.

I am very excited to tell you that Guillermo is my boyfriend now :) The distance is really killing both of us right now. I am hoping to visit him in August, which is still entirely too far away.

I am very happy. I have been caught smiling to myself constantly lately from thinking about him. Just hurts that I can’t be in the same place as him right now. He wrote this great blog post about me the other day that made my eyes tear up.

I can’t wait until you move back here mi novio!

The Joy of Showers

Posted on July 19th, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

I often get asked why I take such short showers. I’ve lost count of how many people have posed this question. I in turn ask them why they take long ones. My view on showers is that they are to get clean. I get in, clean, and get out. The only time I take a bit longer is when I shave my legs. My showers usually last 10-15 minutes, but are around 25 with shaving. I don’t see a need to stay in there any longer than necessary.

These people who ask me this question  *love* taking showers. It seems like they live for it. Some taking them twice a day, while others just wanna stand under the water for half an hour just because it feels good. I don’t get the whole feel good thing. I have wondered if it’s because I’m always in pain and it just doesn’t do anything for me, or if it’s just not my thing.

I do happen to love hot tubs though. The strong jets on my muscles is win. I wish I had one. But to me, showers are just for making me so fresh and so clean clean.

Your opinions on showers?

Bananas, Beer and Shenanigans

Posted on July 9th, 2010 in Failage Sisters Podcast by joyofzen

The long-awaited new episode of Failage Sisters! We are moving on from previous “technical difficulties” with this episode packed with the usual randomness that is our podcast. I hope you enjoy! Thank you for listening : )

 

Improving

Posted on June 11th, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

So, I started writing a blog post over a month ago, but never had time to go back and finish it. I’ll talk about in here what I was going to in there, but not quite yet. First I’m gonna talk about the last few months (as briefly as possible).

I had a class that gave me a lot of new knowledge, but it was filled with too many depressing facts that were weighing down on me. Talking about hundreds of thousands murdered by death squads and such. I need a break from things like this; it is why I don’t watch the news.

I’m sure I was meh starting the beginning of the year, but it just got a lot worse in March. And I had to take a class I didn’t want because the day/time of my credential class changed, so I had to work around it. Had a teacher who was completely gah. I ended up feeling too overwhelmed and stressed. I wanted to try to find a different summer job, but never got around to updating my resume to be able to apply anywhere. Quite frustrating.

I still feel tense even though the quarter has ended. Not just the quarter, but my undergrad. It took *so* long to finish it. Ugh. I’m glad it’s done though. So…onto this whole ‘improving’ thing heh.

I need to snap outta this funk. The mehness is partly cuz of school, partly cuz of personal  life, and worry for certain people. Over the summer I need to get into physical shape. I know that will help me feel better in that aspect, so hopefully it will help my brain too. I’m going to try really hard to not stress and worry about things, and find a way to enjoy life. Which I know is going to be hard cuz of not having money, but I’m gonna try to work with what I got (ie: books, bike etc).

Another thing I have to do is find a way to enjoy being single. I’m used to being in relationships. I like sharing my life with someone. I like physical contact. I know I don’t want to rush into a relationship, and I need to make sure I’m feeling content with myself first anyway. But it pretty much kills me to be single. That has to be my biggest flaw.

In addition to improving myself, this blog needs improving (this is what was gonna be in that other post). I’d glanced back through some older posts and saw that I used to talk about a variety of different things. Now all I ever do on here is talk about my life. It must drive people nuts. It made me cringe just realizing it. Oh yeah, and Twitter has been flooded w/ my bitching for months, that has to decrease.

I think if I had a life outside of school with actual irl friends my blog would sound different. Hopefully more observations will pop up. I might do some current events, but oftentimes I just get too frustrated with someone talking nonsense, so I dunno about that yet. I did have fun with that Top 5 post awhile back; perhaps more of those and some random stuff.

It’s really hard for me to think outside of the world I’ve been trapped in inside my head for so long. If anyone has any ideas for blog posts or anything, please feel free to share. I know I don’t have many readers (especially not after the long break I just took), but I like interacting with people and enjoy getting comments on here.

I hope by the end of the summer I will feel more control over things, and perhaps even have consistent happiness. I also plan on watching a lot of movies. Basically anything that will help clear my head.  I do love to blog… I just need to find some new content for it I think.

Lemme know how you are and if you have any summer plans etc.  ^_^

Is it Summer Yet?

Posted on May 6th, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

I somehow survived the past week, for which I am grateful. I had a couple of midterms; one didn’t go so well. I haven’t gotten the grades back for either. I hope I get them back on Monday. I am glad the majority of the week is over. I do feel very relaxed right now, which hasn’t happened for a few weeks I think. Definitely a feeling I’d like to get used to :)

I really need to get started on my 10 page paper. I don’t want to be overwhelmed with it at the end. I also have an 8 page paper in another class, although that teacher hasn’t given us the topic yet. It is insane to think there are just four weeks of school left.

I think I mentioned before that I’m not taking any classes this summer. Haven’t done that since ‘07. I’m looking forward to that so much. The credential and master’s program are going to kick my ass for sure, so hopefully I’ll go into it rested.

Man, I just realized how early I need to get up. I want to stay up late though. Sigh. Are you a night or morning person?

Adults and Children

Posted on April 26th, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

Recently I was having a blah day with a wretched headache; it was the same day I went to meet the RSP teacher whose class I will be observing. Right after I got there and I saw the kids, my headache was gone. Granted I took a ton of ibuprofen that day, but they really cleaned my spirit. I have an enormous amount of patience with children, and they make me so happy. I look forward to being able to work with them to help them achieve their potential.

The patience that I have with children does not carry over to adults. Sure, if I’m tutoring or showing someone something they don’t know about, but as far as behavior, my patience is limited. I’ve had to make hard decisions in the past about what is best for me and my life, and realized certain people just can’t be a part of it. I had to do this again recently and it sucks.

Over my years on this planet, I just feel that I’ve been stretched out pretty thin. Perhaps I have become somewhat cold and shut off with certain things, but it’s all based on experience. I get let negativity and nonsense drag me down. Of course I am pessimistic myself, but I lack that negativity that some others have.

Right now my focus has to be school. I am in my last quarter with a couple of hard classes, and worrying about other life crap is getting in the way. I am looking forward to doing my observation hours because the kids make me  feel new again. I need to focus on these  things that are good for me and my life.

I think once my quarter is over I’ll do a post with some mini book reviews. I am liking what my professors have chosen, but have just had a hard time focusing. I think re-realizing where my priorities need to be is definitely going to help me. I hope you are all well in this crazy thing called life.

Remembering Pasha

Posted on April 23rd, 2010 in Joy of Zen by joyofzen

A year ago today, many people, including myself, lost a great friend. He was also a husband and a father. I have never stopped thinking about him. He always had the right thing to say and had great wit. I wrote this post about him last year.

Today my thoughts are with his family and my awesome friend, Juliet. I hope the day is spent with fond memories of him, but I know it will be hard.

Shortly after he left us, I had a dream about him; it was very comforting. I just try to think of the  positive, but just watching the 12 on the post I linked above, made me cry.

Here is his last message on Facebook to me, that I’ve saved:

Thanks so so much for the note. Every little bit helps me and the combined efforts of you and the 12ers and everyone I’ve come to love online are more important than you can even imagine. Even if I’m not posting, I’m reading everything and watching all the twelves and enjoying them immensely. So keep it up. :) love ya bunches, joy.

I wanted to post a couple things he said to me on Twitter…but it’s failing and not going back to older ones I have saved. Maybe I’ll post that in the comments later.

Pasha will never be forgotten; he has touched so many lives. Missing you more today friend.

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